“Sacrifices gotta be made..”
What the fuck do you think I’ve been doing since June?
Since he got this second job, his dream career, I’ve sacrificed precious time that was integral to our relationship. I do it unasked. I could leave (ha ha not really), but I’m trying to support his dream. I’m at home until 730-830, waiting for him to come home and sit on the couch on Facebook. Just to get a moment of time with him.
I don’t get put first by him, or so I don’t feel like I do. I don’t get spontaneous things that are his idea. Fuck, I don’t even get consecutive alone time.
Don’t talk to me about things being about sacrifices until you’re in my position. You’re making yours, but don’t force mine when I’m already giving and feeling like I’m getting little in return!
- 5 years ago
I’m a shitty selfish person.
I ask for someone to come get me, I’m frustrated because I always have to put the effort to get into town. No one ever offers to come get me, even when I’m included in plans, and I mean I understand why. But two fridays ago you took him all the way downtown, which is just as much diesel to get to and from our house.
M
- 5 years ago
- 1
Still hate myself and I want to die
Feel like i have no body in my life
That I can talk to without fear
Just wanna get the fuck out of here
Sick of smiling and living a lie
The hate sears and burns my insides
The only logical choice seems to be death
I have no fight left in my chest
But I can’t, I can’t let my people down
Block out the voices that tell me to bow out
I know I’m useless, hopeless, without a doubt
I’m worn out but I gotta carry on
Somehow
- 5 years ago
- 3
And you wonder why I ask you if you’ve grown tired of me.
You are working 2 jobs, I understand that’s tiring, but you put more effort into plans with your friends than with me I begin to wonder.
Am I too fat? Did I say the wrong thing? Is our relationship coming to an end? Am I too clingy? Am I too outspoken? Am I just a bed warmer?
Because right now, that’s all I feel like. Like it would be better if I just left, because maybe you’d care. But then again you probably wouldn’t. Cause when does anyone ever care about big fat lumpy ‘ol me.
- 5 years ago